“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

You put yourself out there.

That’s why you get the results that you do.

At the same time, you also open yourself up to unsolicited comments and feedback. As a high performer, you’re often at the edge of your comfort zone and depending on the feedback you get, it might propel you forward or cause you to deepen the self-doubt that you may already be feeling.

Not all feedback should be treated equally. Although you may be open to feedback from everyone, you might want to consider giving different weight to certain types of feedback.

Feedback worth listening closely to comes from people who:

  • You admire and trust
  • Have already achieved the success you want
  • Have influence in your career
  • Give you hope that you can overcome this challenge

You might want to discount feedback from people who:

  • Are not putting themselves out there like you are
  • Have not achieved the success you’re looking to achieve (and does not live their lives in a positive way)
  • Are chronically negative or cynical
  • Are not specific with ways you can improve

Regardless of who is giving the feedback, strong feedback is specific, actionable and forward-looking. You should gain better clarity around what happened and how you really performed and then come away with hope that you can perform better next time.

No matter what the feedback – just respond with “thank you” and then decide what you want to do with it. You always have the choice whether or not to take the feedback and to do what you want with it.

Inspired by Brene Brown’s 99U talk.

Photo by US Army – Medal of Honor – Staff. Sgt. Salvatore Giunta

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